I love to eat

Now, can I honestly just throw something out there?? I love to eat. I mean I'm like a closet fat kid. You tell me there is free food somethere and goodness gracious you might as well put my name on the list because I'll be there. Well, a few weeks ago the church that I go to down here had a fish fry. Now, I just want to point out that a majority of the people in my church have had at least 50 years of baking experience under their belts so the dessert table was overflowing with some of the most amazing desserts and treats I've had in a reeeeeeaaaaaaaally long time. So after eating my fill of fried catfish and hushpuppies (heaven to a college kid living off of cereal bars and chicken nuggets for the past month!), I ventured off to the dessert table. Now on this table were 2 chocolate pies-you know the kind with that merengue on top. Well this one in particular was most of the way gone...but there was still about 2 pieces worth of pie in that pan. Well, I figured that in order to not dirty up any more dishes I should just take the whole pan back to my place. I mean it made sense in my mind, and looking back I still think it was pretty selfless of me.

Well, I'm not gonna lie to you...I ate every bite of that pie to the point where the ladies and their husbands were giving me a hard time because I was using my finger to get to the pie remains that the fork wouldn't get for me. Well, my stomach was soooo full that night. I mean I ate so much. My stomach was satisfied to the max. I had no desire to go do anything or eat anything else, I just wanted to sit in satisfaction and contentment and dream about chocolate pie.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering where I'm going with all this. I mean, why would I sit here and tell you how addicted to chocolate pie I am. Well, here goes: I got to thinking while I was in my quiet time working on this Beth Moore study, what satisfies me? I mean honestly and truly...when was the last time I was truly satisfied. I then started thinking even harder. What is satisfaction?? Is it happiness, contentment, what? Then, my mind jumped back to my chocolate pie. Satisfaction is being so wholly content that there is no need or even a want to go out and look for anything else. It's having all you need and could possibly want. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think happiness has nothing to do with it (because I was satisfied yet still a little sad thinking about how the half of pie I had inhaled would go straight to my hips). You can still be satisfied even amidst hard, sometimes sad times.

But let's take it a step farther, what gives us satisfaction? I mean more than just the I ate a bunch of good food and took an epic nap satisfied. Only one person can ultimately "refresh the weary and satisfy the faint" (Jer 31:25). That person is our Loving, Almighty Father God. I learned that the Hebrew word for satisfy is "male" which literally means "to fill what was empty or to replinish" and the word for faint is "da'ab" meaning "to pine for". So often we pine for something we can't even truly identify. I find myself doing it all too much.

My freshman year and part of sophomore year could be defined as me pining for something to fill my empty places. I tried many different ways to fill those voids. And let me tell you, not a single one of those ways worked. First it was with people. I decided that the best way to fill that void was to spend as much time with others as possible, in turn I was not very careful of the company I was putting myself in. I assumed that if I was popular, that empty feeling would vanish. Well, it didn't. So I moved on, maybe it was because I didn't have a boyfriend. I was sure that would help. So I went out on date after date until I discovered that that was not helping things at all. In fact, all I had succeeded was in feeling worse and even more empty. So next came the drinking. I decided that the reason the other things had failed was because I just wasn't trying hard enough and that I needed to loosen up some.

Well, thankfully, God ended my freshman year before I had the chance to try more ways to fill those empty spaces. When sophomore year came around God pretty much whopped me in the face. He's been showing me ever since that that pining feeling we all feel, that overwhelming desire to feel loved and to want more is a good thing. I know, I'll even say it one more time for effect, it's a good thing! He created us to be that way. Yes, my loving Creator specially created me to pine, to yearn with all my heart for something. But that something is supposed to be Him. The only way I can experience the full benefits of my salvation is when I allow God and God alone to fill up all my empty spaces.

I'm sure ya'll are sick of hearing about food, but think about when you get really really hungry...you don't drink water do you? Your stomach growls, it might begin to hurt depending on when the last time you ate was, and then ya go grab some food. Our soul is the same way. Our souls are longing to be filled, but the only way to fill it and be truly satisfied is with Jesus. I tried many different ways to satisfy myself, but each and every one of them ultimately led to even more dissatisfaction in the end. The only way to truly be satisfied and remain that way is to allow God to totally fill us up. Once we let Him, we will be so content and satisfied that nothing else will seem to matter. Just like David says in Psalms "Oh God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your Name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You. On my bed I remember You; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." (Ps 63:1-8)

So next time I have the opportunity to eat another chocolate pie I will definitely be thankful for the temporary satisfation provided but even moreso for the satisfaction my Father can give me if I am only willing the accept it.